More About Our First Date

I’m just so jazzed about Bob. It’s been kind of difficult restraining myself; keeping myself from crowding him. Like I said in the public entry, the date went very well. After the movie, we came back to my place. He joined me in walking Buddy.

During that walk, he re-emphasized that he wasn’t looking for a boyfriend, just somebody to date, and I kind of danced around the issue a bit, saying that I was okay with that, and that I didn’t approach the ‘boyfriend’ thing programmatically: if it happens, it happens. He also allowed as how he could change his mind at some point in the future — although I wish I could remember exactly how he put that. I think he was looking for a more definite response from me, and the next time it comes up I’ll give it to him: As long as we enjoy each other’s company, we should continue dating; as long as we’re both enjoying the sex, we should keep having sex. No obligations for now, except for the respect that all friends should show each other. Not that I’m opposed to having a boyfriend, but I’m content to see how it goes.

After the walk, he begged off staying for a nightcap, or sex or whatever. I joked that I promised not to take advantage of him. He said something like, “If I stay, I’m afraid I’ll take advantage of you.” I’m not sure whether that was really true, but it’s emblematic of how nice a guy he is that he would put it that way. So he went home, which kind of bummed me out, if only because it made a waste of the Viagra pill I had taken after dinner as insurance). But oh well — they may not be exactly cheap, but it’s worth taking one every time there’s even a chance we’ll have sex; I really want it to go well next time.

Before he left, he said he would call me later in the week. I haven’t heard from him, so I finally broke down and called him this afternoon. He kind of hustled off the phone, ’cause he was at work, but then called me back a few minutes later to apologize for being so abrupt (which he wasn’t, really), and for not calling me sooner. Which made me feel good, but also like he’s feeling obligated to me, which is not a good thing at this point. So I think the next time we talk (he said he’d call back tonight, but I may be in a movie), I need to be explicit about the ‘no obligations’ thing. Because he’s made it clear that he wants freedom from obligations at the moment, which I can certainly understand.