Blogger Beware

This is how you learn something the hard way:

A couple of months ago, I wrote something in this journal that was critical of a guy I worked with a few years ago. I’d learned he had just finished a show very similar to the one I’d done for him, and I was kinda pissed that he hadn’t even called to let me know the thing was in production. So I said something here that was meant to be pissy/funny, but as so often happens with writing on the Internet, I lost control of the tone and it came out more mean/bitter.

Well, guess what? The web is a massively-indexed public medium! Who knew? The guy found my journal through a search engine, read the remark, and sent me an e-mail that was as threatening as it was hurt. So I got on my high horse and let him have it. (Never mind who it was or what he said or what I said. That’s not the point.)

After a few rounds, it came out that he had tried to reach me about working on his project, but I’d never responded. And that was because I never received his email, which was undoubtedly directed at an obsolete email address. It never occurred to me that he might have tried to reach me, and failed. So, of course, I apologized, and now we’re okay, he and I.

But let that be a lesson. It’s so easy to make assumptions, and to let grudges spiral out of control. And so often, they’re based on faulty assumptions. I usually try to give the benefit of a doubt, but sometimes… well…