Fringe Benefits

Sometimes it’s tough to keep your mind on your work. On Friday, I field produced an Old Homes Restored segment at a 250 year old farmhouse near Crofton, Md. The place was a complete war zone; not a stick of it was finished. Walls down to bare studs, siding off and the building was completely wrapped in Tyvek (the showing of which is a strict HGTV no-no).

But all that’s beside the point. The point is, there was a mason working to rehab the stone foundation, and he had two assistants with him. One was quite cute. The other was stone cold gorgeous (no pun intended). Early twenties, deep tan, adorable face with little lambchop sideburns, and a trim, lithe body like a rock wrapped in kid leather. I had an awful time trying to keep my head on my directing duties. Every time I turned around, here was this kid, shirtless, sweating big wheelbarrows full of mortar back and forth. And when he started to gab with his mate about the great stash of porno (straight, of course) that he’d had to ditch when his parents found it, I nearly lost it. The tittiliation factor was too high! And nothing I could do about it, of course.

The good news is, he’s all over our field tapes, and my logging copies should be here within the hour. The world’s first House and Garden Porno!